where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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