So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
