I got chris browned last night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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