I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
