The maid of honor just puked.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
