Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
