I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
