Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
