that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize