"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
