you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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