i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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