I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
