You're so nebulous sometimes
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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