I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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