i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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