i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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