I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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