Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
