Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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