bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
