so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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