good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
