bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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