She's JV to your varsity
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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