Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize