He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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