i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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