I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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