i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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