you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
