Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
