i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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