I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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