I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
