brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
