ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
