I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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