just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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