i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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