In the future we'll all be gay
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
