ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
