My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
