would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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