Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
