I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
