Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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