Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
