My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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