Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
