he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
