is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have tasted many bathrooms
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
