and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize