First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
