If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
