There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
