Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
