Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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