oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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