I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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