I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
