I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
