fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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