operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
