I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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