dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
