i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
