Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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