Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize