its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
